nerditry

He’s a complicated man, and no one understands him but his woman.

RIP Isaac Hayes

I loved that motherfucker.

Damn.

Rest up Mac, you’re gonna be playing for the greats, now.

Jesus said, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, to God the things that are God’s, and to Evan sane drivers and a clear left lane…” (Mark 12:13-17)

Rarely do I ever feel like I’m better than another person because we all have deep flaws and a tendency to forget them in light of others’. On the highway, this enlightenment has not reached so far into my brain. Each day I commute with my co-worker J the twenty-five odd miles each way to The Office, alternating weeks and paying $2.50 a day in tolls. It’s a time for small talk or kvelling on the batshit driving scenarios we encounter daily.

Though I’ve done the dirty dance with a guard rail last May 07 (no parties harmed and my car was returned in under 2 weeks), I consider myself an adept driver who is genuinely distressed about the driving habits of others. Riding in the passenger seat half the time allows me to observe and maybe understand the reasons that people lose their minds on the road (Orlando is annually a Top 10 Worst Traffic Champion).

Our country is currently in a thick malaise, emulsified by dirty politics, a lack of direction, no firm goals and bad enough credit that everyone’s lights get shut off. Giving someone the finger in response to dissatisfaction in their driving habits should be put tossed in the garbage at the next gas station. International variations, I admonish you to sleeve the “V” in the UK and pocket the chin-hand-flippy deal in Italy.

One pissed off man’s “V” is the same as a protester’s Peace sign here in the states. Lord knows every Asian person on vacation poses with a Peace sign for the camera.

I present to you, The Thumbs Down. A symbol that leaves no room for interpretation, none for appeal and ripe with knowledge that the presenter condemns your most recent action. An emotional gallows for your lack of turn signal during an exciting session of Driving Whiled Crackberried.

I’ve field tested this and have seen dramatic results. Recipients are immediately surprised as nothing like this has ever been sent their way, as they’ve been in the right, and only assholes give people the finger. But this?





This is a regal judgment. Someone has taken the time to consider your action and has rendered a verdict. This has been a rational process, tenths of a second long and you now bear the mark of being thrown back into the lion’s den as an ancient goyim would.

Friends and readers, drivers, subway riders, bus takers, boarders, take this with you. Employ it. Spread amongst the masses. Take the offense out of telling your fellow travelers that they indeed have fucked up and need to watch that ass in the future, lest I be given reign at the DOT. Peace be with you.

All thumbnails are clickable for a 1000×750p

Jays @ Rays : Special series at The Ballpark
(Disney’s Wide World of Sports)

National Anthem

Rays Pitcher Jason Hammel

Rays All Star 3B Evan Longoria

Rays Closer Troy Percival

Fud!

Platanos Maduros al Tostone
(almost ripe plantains in the style of tostones)

Red Snapper on the Grill

stay delicious+
!nerd up

HOT. GOD. DAMN!

Speaker of the House and general disappointment for the rest of the Democratic Party Nancy Pelosi grew the most Bocce of Balls when still no one else is able to. She straight up called POTUS retarded.

Make no mistake. When you want to discuss someone’s abilities and capacity to perform and preface with “God bless him, bless his heart…“, it’s a declaration that this person is one of “God’s Children.” A man that everyone says good job! to, because darn it he tried. Someone that you can keep on the leash with the promise of of ice cream and pizza parties.

I’m sending out a special dedication here on the Quiet Storm to Barry and Miche-Miche, please undo the top button and let shit fly. You can’t let the Speaker (who spoke out of turn for a great number of her own constituents on impeachment) get out in front of anything when it’s your show to run. It’s your summer and people don’t care about The Party, they’re waiting to see some backbone and fire. Don’t try to outsmart the guy since that’s what got Kerry into trouble…just prove that the office needs to return to the highest standards and John McCain is in no way qualified. The brainy part should be concentrated on progress, not rhetoric.

And it was all that could be glorious.

Heath must = Oscar Nomination.

Can’t wait for you to enjoy it, too.

“With the 60th pick in the NBA draft, the Boston Celtics Draft Semih Erden of Turkey, goodnight.” - NBA Deputy Commissioner Adam Silver

He got out of there like the Sandman was behind him. Commence blovations.

This is a good omen for tonight’s NBA Draft and should lead into a good number of trades and swaps with the number of role players available tonight. We’re on the lookout for trades from the Miami Heat, NY Knicks, LA Clippers, Memphis Grizzlies, Charlotte Bobcats and certainly the Portland Trailblazers who have enough draft picks to stock a new D League franchise.

Summer reading for Jermaine

Raptors receive:
F/C Jermaine O’Neal
41st Pick

Pacers receive:
G TJ Ford
C Rasho Nesterovic
F Maceo Baston
17th Pick

The Raps now have a monster front court comparable in size and ability to the Lakers and the Magic. That’s a huge difference in being able to compete with a big front line from us, the Celtics, Hawks and Pistons. O’Neal is going to allow for Bosh to keep his game in the 15+ ft. range and force defenders to play one on one, but both he and Bosh have terrific jumpers for big men. I’d imagine they’re going to see a lot of zone defense next year and really need to work with Calderon about finding the holes and dishing. A big question is whether they are going to continue to let Barga float around on the outside or is he going to need to be the enabler for their Big 2 and catch the scraps. Either way, his shooting should drastically improve in percentage in volume.

Indiana at the very least gets a guy who takes himself seriously and has the ability to get a triple double on any night. That’s going to be big in getting the other players involved who seemed to be content with watching Tinsley and Dunleavy be the entire offense. An offense with a great deal of motion and underneath passing will be important with a smaller squad and hopefully we can see why they traded for Diogu in the first place. Nice trade for everyone and I think the Pacers will go with one of the project bigs at PF or C with the 17th since Granger keeps them solid at the 2/3.

These professionals took their show on the road and opened up the world’s most expensive ice cream truck [||]. Seeing as how this is South Beach, please are liable to believe anything, especially when it’s flashy and comes with a surprising price tag. This price tag was surprising, being $40 to drink unlimited in an area where that much only gets you in the club and the 1st drink+tip. I applaud these ho’s efforts.

Moving one’s business to a mobile enterprise is a tough call with fuel prices, insurance premiums and most taxing, the cost of finding a crew of Guido’s to decorate your van. It’s having confidence in the craftsmanship of work and sleeping well knowing that the coke-friendly mirrored finish is be accentuated by the finest leathers capable of repelling frequent applications of the Gentleman’s Relish. And truly, I’d agree that it’s just not worth the harm caused to the environment by a gas-guzzler, but let’s think of the savings:

1. Access to the HOV lane. Carpooling!

2. There’s no shower on that party wagon = tremendous water savings.

3. It’s like Space Camp for Bang Bus fans. Not quite the real thing, but worth the trip.

Read the story + video : Orlando Sentinel

Funny

Eternal

Plain Shite